Be Grateful to Everyone

Our theme is “Be Grateful to Everyone”.

Work with this each and everyday. Put it before yourself as you get up in the morning, after morning exercise, as a reminding factor during the day.

There are the little things that constantly bother us about others; people we see – the way they behave, dress, move, treat others. Be Grateful to Everyone.

There are impersonal affronts we see on the news; how some behave toward their fellows, political leaders, commentators, celebrities, etc.

Then there are chronic, more personal, bigger situations in our life. Family members, in-laws, people we know well who have treated us badly and worse. Be Grateful to Everyone.

We need in our work to be-friend parts of ourselves that we shun.

To quote Trungpa, my teacher in this, “The slogan “Be grateful to everyone” is about making peace with the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected. Through doing that, we also make peace with people we dislike. More to the point, being around people we dislike is often a catalyst for making friends with ourselves. Thus, “Be grateful to everyone.” If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own rejected qualities, which we project onto the outside world. In traditional teachings on lojong it is put another way: other people trigger the karma that we haven’t worked out. They mirror us and give us the chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff that we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders.”

This theme is about learning from all situations and other people becoming our teachers. Not fighting others and situations, but embracing them with our inner presence, which opens us up to another force. We open up, open our hearts and minds to situations we would ordinarily be closed to and allow them to become our mentor.

Trungpa Rimpoche again, “”Be grateful to everyone” is getting at a complete change of attitude. It does not mean that if you’re mugged on the street you should smile knowingly and say, “Oh, I should be grateful for this,” before losing consciousness. This slogan actually gets at the guts of how we perfect ignorance through avoidance, not knowing that we’re eating poison, not knowing that we’re putting another layer of protection over our heart, not seeing through the whole thing.”

There are many layers to this theme. Don’t work on this with the mind, with thinking, work with this in actuality during the day. There is a good deal to find out about ourselves, our leaks of energy and our potential for Compassion.

Ebb and Flow

The first thing is to separate the present moment from the present situation. In life there is a natural ebb and flow. One moment we are outward relating to the world around us, in another we are inwardly focused seeing our wish and connected to our inner life; asleep, then awake; caught up in reaction, grasping, daydreaming, then being with ourselves inwardly, connected to our presence. In this, we are all the same.

This back and forth, this ebb and flow is natural and we should accept it. We often don’t. We grasp at the one and reject the other. Fight sleep and negativity, and attempt to hold on to the ‘higher’ wakeful state. The mechanical animal and the divine are both in us. They are who we are.

To quote Jeanne De Salzmann:
“Man is only a promise of man until he can live with both natures present in himself and not withdraw into one or the other. If he withdraws into his highest part, he is distant from his manifestations and can no longer evaluate them; he no longer knows or experiences his animal nature. If he slides into the other nature, he forgets everything that is not animal, and there is nothing to resist it; he is animal, not man. The animal always refuses the angel. The angel turns away from the animal”. –Reality of Being Page 21.

This back and forth see-saw becomes our reality, where we think that the inner good state is the real me and the sleeping part needs to be fought against. We create sometimes an inner war between our disparate parts that keeps us from real progress. What the Buddha called duality.

Neither of those two sides are what we are after. By accepting both parts of who we are, the ‘wolf and the sheep’ in Mr G’s language, we open to the potential of another energy coming in; one that is unseen, but clearly not “me”. Being present, relaxed, deeply relaxed, and opening to the unseen is an important part of our work. Sometime it is better to let go of our physical tensions, thoughts – even of the work – and emotional reactions, and just allow another attention to appear, rather than straining to make one materialize. Becoming free from the desire for a result.

Be aware of the ebb and flow – This is about vigilant consciousness and the transformation of our attention.

Jerry Toporovsky